In my time at therapy, the concept of frameworks has come up a number of times. I have adopted this mental model or image for thinking about my worldview/beliefs/interaction layers. I think the word captures the idea itself well, but it is simply the model by which one interfaces with the world from the mind or something like that. During the periods of struggle I describe, many if not all of my frameworks broke to some degree; some more completely than others.
The LLM space introduced me to many new friends and communities.
Even without core frameworks intact, I found that it is possible to glean a feeling of purpose through usefulness and contribution.
The new future in my mind shifted during this time; from one led by a determined and self-improving self to one led by an advanced form of coping and self-delusion.
SillyTavern was a project I was really able to sink my teeth into. It exposed me to a world which I was entirely unfamiliar (digtial roleplay) and mixed it with the growing power of LLMs. However, that came with a dark aspect of ERP (erotic roleplay) which much of the userbase was involved in. Internal questions about this eventually were the seed for the third impact.
I've talked to LLMs quite a lot now, particularly during this time. The conversations began with simple experiments, testing the limits of what the various models could do; how well they could inhabit a character. I could experience the simple joy of novelty at this point; ever-impressed by how real or interested some responses seemed. I also used LLMs for a pseudo-therapy, talking with a character inhabiting the therapist role (via ST).